Thanks to Lynn’s facebook I stumbled onto this gem of an article today.

Obviously, this makes me want to travel to the Hamptons with the hope that Ina will take me in, feed me a diet of solely consisting of her chicken chili and cart me around to all the best spots in Montauk. No? Not possible? Creepy and weird? Fine. At least she gives me something to aspire to. I need to break down some of the hidden and not so hidden gems in the article.

1) My mom eats the same breakfast as Ina and my dad wakes up at the same time as Jeffrey. Does this mean that I grew up with the North Suburban Chicago version of Ina? Discuss.

2) She eats a lobster roll at lunch because she “doesn’t like fancy food”. I’m not one to turn down fancy food (if offered and paid for of course) but I like her attitude. Also, I like that a meal with lobster isn’t automatically considered fancy to her. And by like it I mean that I find it equal parts bemusing and charming.

3) I can’t really get behind all of her gardening. Remember that time I was going to grow basil for like a week after I moved to LA and the plant automatically died and started decaying on my balcony of my old apartment? Yeah. Different strokes for different folks.

4) Weekly massages. Nuf said.

5) She thought she was boring so decided to stop being boring and did something about it. I love that she basically had a stereotypical male mid life crisis where she bought a sports car.

6) Despite the fact that she is THE barefoot contessa she and Jeffrey eat two of their three meals out at restaurants. I can totally get behind this as I am a well documented restaurant addict.

7) 60 Minutes is dullsville but she also watches The Newsroom. I now have an image of Ina and I in her what I’m sure is fabulous living room, wearing terry cloth robes and slippers post-massage. We’d sip tea, eat cookies for dessert and watch Newsroom together. It would be sort of like when Tom and Donna have treat yo self day on Parks and Rec but it would happen weekly. I’ll just quietly sit in the corner and quietly check my twitter during 60 minutes. Don’t even worry about me.

Overall, completely obsessed. Now that I have indulged myself with a little escapism I need to get back to California community property.

23 more days.