First things first: Happy Thanksgiving!
Bearing the theme of gratitude in mind, I have an announcement:
I did not pass the California Bar Exam.
Yes, I will take February 2012. Yes, I was disappointed and sad to learn I didn’t pass. Yes, I am OK. And yes, I am sick of talking about it.
Luckily when I got the news I was off the grid, vacationing in South Dakota so I was able to talk to the people I needed to talk to and then go on a cell phone and social media blackout for about 3 days. It was actually really, really nice not to really deal with the fallout from the news. The past few days being back have been a little overwhelming. There is a lot I need to plan before I start studying again. Obviously, “the news” was upsetting to me. I really, really wanted to pass but I know the exam is weird and challenging. I also know I will take it again and I have faith that things in my life are going to work out the way they are supposed to. Truthfully, not passing felt weirdly liberating.
Through my many years practicing various forms of self help I’ve learned that when things don’t go my way I need to practice gratitude. And you know what? The bar examiners knew what they were doing putting the results day less than a week before thanksgiving. Gratitude has been on my mind all week as the holiday approaches.
Hungry Running Girl posted this about a month ago and I have reread it several times since Friday night:
Tuesday night I came home and actually made a full on list of the things that I am grateful for. With that in mind, it’s time for my annual “thankful” post. Consider this year’s the “I didn’t pass the bar exam but I have so much to be grateful for” edition of the “Thankful” post aka: my gratitude list from Tuesday night.
My good health, my parent’s good health and the good health of most of the people I love.
Everyone is healthy and my biggest ailment in the past year was a tight it band. May this good luck continue!
Food. Shelter. Heat. Water. Health Insurance.
I mean really.
I live in a place where it’s 70 and sunny almost all the time. How bad can life ever really be?
She is ridiculous and I love her.
Running and yoga.
Almost nothing keeps me more sane and balanced and happy than running and yoga. I am so lucky that I am able to practice both of these things. Running has changed my life in the past almost 3 years <- not an overstatement.
I have a new part time job that I love in a place I love surrounded by things I love.
I’m not blogging the details of it at all but I love it and that is all there is to say.
Red wine, IPA, dirty Hendrick’s martinis, and amazing food.
I have no food allergies, I’m maintaining happy weight and I get to more or less eat what I please. Less than a month ago I had the best martini I’ve had in years with my best friend. Life is good.
This blog has provided me so many things: new friends, free samples of products, and an outlet for my thoughts. I really feel like my writing is changing and evolving. I’m excited to write more.
The ability to do social justice work.
While I will be taking a hiatus to study for the bar, I’ve learned in the past few years that I’m at my happiest when I feel like I’m working for the common good. This knowledge is powerful and I trust that I will have a long, fulfilling career doing such work whether it is legal or non legal.
Long walks, good music, drinking delicious lattes, cooking and baking.
I did all these things tonight and they all made me feel better.
The election of this man and this photo of him with his wife.
Sorry to get political, but it’s true.
My increasing resemblance to Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Two amazing women whom I idolize and didn’t pass the bar exam the first time and went on to have formidable careers. In fact Hillary and I are both from North suburban Chicago, both went to woman’s colleges, both were deeply involved in student government, both went to law school and both didn’t pass the bar the first time we took it.
We also both like to drink beer and dance.
And last but certainly not least, my amazing friends, family and boyfriend.
If you want to know what love and support is I highly suggest taking, but not passing, the bar exam. I have had so much love and support thrown my way in the past 5 days. My best friend even sent me my favorite grilled cheese making bread that is only sold in Boston. I’ve received hugs from friends and countless text messages from people. I’m at a point where I don’t want to really talk about the details of not passing or my plan for moving forward but getting supportive messages has been a big bright spot in the past few days. I take none of it for granted and know that I appreciate every nice gesture so, so much.
So, what are you thankful for this year?